Well... this is the day. The V Day. Probably the least favorite of JACK's holiday celebrations. Ah, you ask, "Why, JACK? It's a day of love. And you're all about loving the girlfriends." That's true. JACK does appreciate his girlfriends. But do you know how much attention they require on a Valentine's Day? It's incredible. It's brutal. Every year, it's worse and it ages JACK prematurely.

JACK has to start his V Day telling each and every girlfriend how special they are. Then JACK has to present them with their Valentine's Day card. Then JACK has to give that "special" gift they wanted for Valentine's Day. Then JACK has to wait around and receive the "special" gift they have got JACK. You see where this is going, don't you? There is just not enough time on this one day to show all the love JACK has. In JACK's mind, Valentine's Day needs to be at least 3 days long and always rolling a weekend.

JACK realized from last year that it's not smart to number the girlfriends. They thought it was a rating system, which it was not. So JACK had to take extra time this year to learn all of their names. Do you know how long THAT took?? Anyway, JACK knows his girlfriends will appreciate the effort and maybe next year, JACK will learn their last names.