jack's girlfriends

Well... this is the day. The V Day. Probably the least favorite of JACK's holiday celebrations. Ah, you ask, "Why, JACK? It's a day of love. And you're all about loving the girlfriends." That's true. JACK does appreciate his girlfriends. But do you know how much attention they require on a Valentine's Day? It's incredible. It's brutal. Every year, it's worse and it ages JACK prematurely.

Jack has told everyone how difficult Valentine’s Day can be for JACK.  The pressure. The pressure!  In the old days, JACK would just break up with his one girlfriend before Valentine’s Day in order to save money... but now that JACK is a radio media mogul, this is the kind of email he has been receiving:

It’s JACK here again expressing his thoughts on Facebook. If you think your feelings might get hurt, please do us both a favor and don’t read this... but you are going to read it anyways because you love to hear what JACK has to say. JACK is wondering if some of his peeps on Facebook have a life. JACK understands it’s cold and wet and we Texans aren’t used to this but come on! Put on a JACKET and