I Had to Watch This Video 10 Times to Figure Out What This Aggie Was Saying

Talkin' 'bout dang ol' video man, just can't make out that little ol' accent man, just...yo.

I was minding my own business scrolling through Facebook on company time when I came across a video that's both hilarious and baffling.

It starts with a girl in an Aggies shirt rambling about something while munching on Chick-Fil-A, then cuts to Boomhauer from King of the Hill talkin' his trademark gobbledygook.

That's followed by a few more kids in college gear announcing their plans to attend the schools on their shirts.

So yeah, I laughed. The joke is spot-on.

But then the frustration set in. I found myself rewinding the first part of the video over and over to figure out what in the world the first girl was trying to say.

Here, watch it and see if you can figure this mess out.

I had context clues to work from. Judging from the other girls in the video, I knew Aggie girl was announcing that she planned to attend Texas A&M. It's a damned fine school, so good for her.

That said, I cannot for the life of me make out the entire sentence.

At first it sounded like, "Ramsey Paterson, goin' Texan 'n' them, gay marriage."

So wait, is she for or against gay marriage in Texas? Why is this getting political all of a sudden?

After watching several more times, I think she's saying "My name is [???] Paterson, goin' to Texas A&M, Gig 'Em Ags."

Ok, but what in the world is that first name?

Emily? Amy? Emma?  Libby? Lilly? I guess it could be Maggie judging by the TikTok info on screen, but I think that's just the person who uploaded the video. Toni Gee thinks she might be saying "Leah". That's the best theory we have right now.

(I don't care what the other girls are saying. To paraphrase the immortal words of Hank Hill, "No offense, but you're from Oklahoma.")

So my question for you is, can you figure out what the heck Aggie girl's first name is? I can't make it out, and the more I watch the video, the louder I laugh and just make it harder on myself.

Watch the video again. If you speak fluent Boomhauer and can figure out what her first name is, congratulations - you win the internet.