Sometimes you just can’t make stuff up like this.  And all it takes is just reading the police blotter in a small town newspaper.

In the April 19th publication of the Victoria Advocate (Texas), the following item appeared in the police blotter column:


“VICTORIA - A home in the 1700 block of Bonham Drive on April 11. An      aluminum   extension ladder valued at $100 and a woman's sex toy valued at $10 were reported missing.”

When you read an item like this it actually starts making you think about some of the absurdities that surround the circumstances of this heinous crime.  Let’s just list a few scenarios that we thought of as we laughed out loud reading this blotter report:

  • Was the sex toy and ladder stolen from the property outdoors or indoors?
  • Who keeps a sex toy near a ladder?
  • Who keeps a ladder in the house near a sex toy?
  • Will the sex toy be held for ransom?
  • Is $10 considered too cheap for a allegedly used sex toy?
  • For that matter, is $100 considered too much for a used extension ladder?
  • Is this what modern thieves these day are now targeting in home invasions?
  • Was a picture of the sex toy provided?
  • Will this be a Crimestoppers Crime of the Week?
  • Did the police officer taking the report keep a straight face the whole time?
  • Will detectives be checking the local pawn shops for any used sex toys that were pawned?
  • What if this was a burglary of a gang or crime syndicate of sorts and they targeted on neighborhood and then met back at their safe house to evaluate their stolen booty:
    • “Okay guys.  What did we did we haul in tonight?
      • Thief One:  “I got diamond rings.”
      • Thief Two:  “I got a Rolex watch.”
      • Thief Three:  “I got an Apple computer.”
      • Thief Four:  “I got a flat screen TV.
      • Thief Five:  “I got some gold coins.”
      • Thief Six:  “I got a dildo and an extension ladder.”

Do you think that Thief Six should look for a new line of work?