Dumb Criminals

The worst thing you can do when you’re staring into the judging beam of a police officer’s flashlight is lie to them, whether you did the thing they are accusing you of or not. This is officially worse than that.

A recent Tweet comparing the tragic Trayvon Martin shooting with the Kim Kardashian flour incident went viral because it was seemingly sent by actor Will Smith. Except it wasn’t. The Tweet was from Twitter user @RealWillSmith, who is not, in fact, the real Will Smith.

Was a medical marijuana delivery man in West Covina, CA, actually robbed by ninjas last week? That’s what the man, who is only described as being in his 40s, alleges. And so far the police are taking his claim seriously.

During a road trip, Travis Chambers proposed a math problem to his wife Chelsea. “If you are traveling 80 miles per hour, how long does it take you to go 80 miles?,” he wonders. While that would seem a ridiculous question to ask an adult, given the ease in which the answer can be calculated, there was a reason Travis asked.

With the convenience and anonymity that comes with texting, you would think it’s easy to pull off a prank. But for a teenager in Arkansas, a texting prank backfired when she joked about hiding a dead body, and sent the text prank to a random local number. That random number turned out to belong to a police detective, who obviously didn’t consider the message a joke.

As this video begins, one is impressed with the speed with which this garbage man jumps from his truck and begins disposing of the waiting trash bags. Now that’s one dedicated civil servant. However, things quickly take a turn when his haste becomes rage and he begins smashing a trash bin on the side of his truck.

Some guys will do anything to get out of paying their bar tab. They’ll change their identities, leave the country, even go into cyrogenic freezing. Destroying private property, however, should never be a viable option.

Proving that the old adage of “only stupid criminals get caught” is true, a would-be robber who was persuaded to apply for a job at the adult video store he was trying to shake down found himself in handcuffs after he ever-so-helpfully put his real name on the application.

It’s embarrassing enough to be arrested for flashing your junk at unsuspecting passers-by but when the junk you’re showing off isn’t even yours, that’s just a little sad.

It’s never a good idea to run up a restaurant tab and then skip out on the bill — and it’s an even worse idea when said eatery is lousy with cops.

On Feb. 6th, Ashley Murray of Indiana arrived home with her son to discover a strange man in her apartment. At first, Murray thought she was being robbed. But then, she noticed that the interloper had cooked dinner, folded laundry and swept the floor. Imagine if all trespassers were this helpful!

A hapless crook in the U.K. was recently caught after a built-in camera on a stolen laptop took his picture while he was napping (with his mouth open no less). Busted!